Friday, December 7, 2012

Cold Turkey

It always starts innocently.  

For me, it started one night when Lizzie was around two months old. I have a lot of patience, I really do.  Except when I'm tired. And I was tired.  She was crying...and crying...and crying.  And I cracked. 

That's when we got addicted to Paci.

It was so easy, it worked so well that I didn't think anything about it. Just pop it in. I didn't even buy those first ones. They were a gift, just lying there, waiting for my moment of weakness. I didn't want to be that mom with the diaper bag full of pacifiers, with the clips, and the special binkie wipes. I vowed that night to only use it on a need-only basis.

My sweet baby high on Paci.

At first I didn't realize I had a problem.  Even when my sister-in-law jokingly remarked a month later that we had a Paci addiction I shrugged it off. I really only used it to get her to sleep. Oh, and when we were in the car. And I guess if we were going on a walk. Crap.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against pacifiers in general.  They can be a great tool, and I understand not everyone is blessed with the easy-going baby I have. My hatred is personal.  I hate trying to find them in the dark. I hate cleaning them. I hate trying to keep the dog from chewing on them. I hate having to constantly have one on me "just in case." I hate buying them. And I hate-hate-hate that Lizzie needs one to get to sleep.

So last night I decided to go cold turkey. Problem is, I've said this in the past, only to cave bleary-eyed at three in the morning. I needed to do something drastic. They all had to go. Not even a church/doctor's office/meeting emergency paci could be allowed to survive. Not even that one that's been stuck behind her crib for a month and a half that I just haven't gotten a chance to dig out.

Throwing them in the trash wasn't enough. I didn't currently have anything gross enough to ensure I wouldn't do something desperate when exhaustion kicked in. They had to be cut. 

Oh God. Did I just cut up all my pacifiers?


Update: We've just made it through the first night in four months without the paci. Yes, it was a long night but when I woke this morning and checked on my baby she was smiling in her sleep. I had no idea she did that. 

No comments:

Post a Comment